IT took a while for the penny to drop. A little more than half way through this sequel to Hornet's Nest, it clicked. It struck me that Patricia Cornwell was taking the mickey.
This is the first Cornwell book I've read, and possibly the last. Not because it was bad, because it wasn't. So for the record, I'll spout all the back-cover promotional bumph and get it out of the way because yes, it's true, it is 'fast', it is a 'melange of personal conundrums', and it is, at times, 'funny'. ('Roller-coaster' seemed to be pushing it a bit though).
But despite all this, on reading the final page I was left with an overwhelming feeling of . . . well, nothing. If this book were a colour, it would be a translucent beige.
Admittedly this is a sequel, and having missed the '. . . riveting, stay-up-all-night chiller' (Elle magazine) first instalment, perhaps it was my fault for being unable to empathise with the characters.
Then again, perhaps it was Cornwell's. After all, it is her job to strike the right balance between developing the three central characters for those who discovered them in Hornet's Nest - with Southern Cross being only the second in the series - and introducing them for the reader who, like me, may have missed that 'fast-moving, gripping and hugely entertaining' (Sunday Telegraph) 'gripping (again) plot' (Cosmopolitan).
But I know there are dedicated Cornwell fans out there; in fact there are $190-million, three-book-deal's worth of Cornwell fans out there, who may consider the second instalment of the trials and tribulations of troubled police chief Judy Hammer, biological-clock-ticking deputy Virginia West and hunky but sensitive officer Andy Brazil 'high drama' (Little, Brown).
So, for them, here's the plot. The three cops move to Richmond, Virginia, to clean up the town. Two guys work in a cigarette factory. A teenage gang plans to terrorise the town. One gang member paints a statue. Someone is murdered. The sub-plots come together. You finish the book. You forget about it.
Unfortunately, all the characters come across as shallow, even those introduced for the first time. Maybe our heroes were beautifully illustrated in Hornet's Nest, but Cornwell barely scratches the surface of characters who, apparently, have interestingly troubled and complex lives. Apart from a few clues, we can but guess at who they are.
Cornwell successfully injects an 'intoxicating dash of comedy' (Little, Brown, again) and such dashes are genuinely funny, but their often farce-like proportions - one scene of a fight between two cops is more reminiscent of Tom Sharp's Riotous Assembly - seem out of place among its other more serious themes, such as gang-related youth crime, guns and entrenched prejudice in the police force.
So is she taking the mickey? We are treated to the thoughts of dogs and cats, for example, animals which can work computers and sort out the love lives of humans. Interesting yes, but even Cornwell's heroine of her former books, medical examiner and honorary sleuth Kay Scarpetta, would have trouble tracking down any point to Southern Cross.
Southern Cross by Patricia Cornwell Little, Brown, $135