Geeks churn out more new terms than hip-hop aficionados, skaters and surfer dudes combined. No longer do the digitally enlightened merely talk about software (that invisible stuff consisting of programs that fire up, crash and sometimes allow the user to get things done). That is so last century - so Windows 3.1.
Just as these days coffee comes as a latte, cappuccino, moccachino, sloppachino, or whatever, software falls into a strange spectrum of classifications. However, some things do not change. All are formed by the addition of the suffix 'ware' and, with the exception of revengeware, appear designed to antagonise. Here are the main offenders:
Freeware. After your heart rather than your wallet, freeware entails no charge or registration. The catch? There is often no support. Oh, and, do not expect mind-blowing quality.
Nagware. This has to be one of the worst of the lot, imbued with all the charm of a marketeer's courtesy call. This is a strain of shareware (software downloaded and redistributed for free) that displays a large screen at the beginning or end to remind you to register and pay.
Begware. The poor sister of nagware, begware is actually even more excruciating. No occasional discreet reminder here: it bombards you with messages pleading with you to pay for your copy.
Crippleware. No, not a variety that mangles your motherboard but a program with one of its major functions removed. For instance, a crippled interactive game may allow you access to only a restricted number of levels. If you really want to test yourself, and struggle onwards and upwards to meet the peak of your game-playing potential, you will have to cough up.
