Letters | Stop blaming and shaming victims of sexual assault
- Women who share their trauma or take part in #MeToo can all too often be dismissed as attention seekers or ‘slut shamed’ for the clothes they were wearing at the time
Some people are still convinced that it is much ado about nothing, while others blame the women or even “slut shame” them – saying “this is what you deserve when you wear revealing or seductive clothing”; “if you did not have the guts to resist fiercely, then you were giving them the permission to act as they did”.
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In the face of such reactions of disbelief and cynicism, many victims are still likely to hide their trauma to avoid secondary victimisation. Sexual molestation and assault can be violent or non-violent. The latter, manipulative assault – as that described by Meng – is more common. More often than not, the perpetrators reveal their insecurities, manipulate women’s sympathy and make them feel so bad about it that they eventually rationalise away their sexual harassment.
Women are so often taught to be elegant and dignified, and that making a scene is unbecoming for a well-behaved girl. Thus, many are often petrified in the face of sexual transgressions. Often, they fear that resisting vigorously would only escalate the harm and invite further atrocity. In the aftermath, they try to make themselves feel less of a victim by justifying away the whole, ugly experience.
What a women wears is never the reason for a sexual assault on her. Sexual assault can happen to anyone, no matter the clothes, the age or the gender. All over the world, too many women – of all ages – are still being sexually assaulted and raped despite covering up their bodies.
It is time for some people to stop being ignorant. There is no moral high ground for those who choose to shame and blame victims.
Rainbow Chak, Kwai Chung
