Music therapy: Filipino singer addresses mental health issues through her songs, spreading awareness and helping others
- Coeli San Luis sings about mental health as a self-healing process, and to battle the culture of ‘toxic positivity’ in her country
- She talks frankly about her own issues on Instagram, and has inspired some of her followers to seek professional help
Mental health has always been a sensitive issue – especially in Asia, where a culture of “saving face” and “don’t ask, don’t tell” prevails when dealing with difficult subjects. But Filipino singer Coeli San Luis is not deterred by stifling old conventions.
The 26-year-old from Antipolo, a city just to the east of Metro Manila, who goes by the stage name Coeli, uses her folk-pop tunes to address mental health – and to reach out to people who might feel the same way. Her bright, experimental style lends itself well to her subject matter, bringing some levity to a serious subject.
“I thought I was overdramatising everything in my head,” she says. “With the stigma surrounding mental health, I thought that what I was feeling was invalid. But my songs – as I played them to myself – would tell me otherwise. My inner voice would somehow find its way through the music I created.”
Gradually, as she began performing to more people, Coeli realised that she wasn’t alone. She began releasing music, starting with her first single, Magkaibigan o Magka-ibigan, in 2016. The soulful Tagalog ballad dealt with the fear of the vulnerability that comes with opening up to love, and brought Coeli new-found attention.
“As I started performing my songs, the feedback I received assured me that my music had something important to say,” she says.
She threw herself into music, writing songs that dealt with fear, anxiety, and paralysing self-doubt. That led to the release of her first EP the following year. “Take pride in how you get by every day / Sometimes you may drown in sorrow, well, it’s all OK,” she croons over upbeat percussion in Here Today, a song off that debut EP of the same name.
Then her demons caught up with her. “Eventually, I figured out that I had deeply seated trauma that I needed to process with a mental health professional. Not everyone has access to a mental health care provider, or a good support system, here in the Philippines,” says Coeli, acknowledging that she was privileged to be able to receive professional help.
“That’s why I find purpose in voicing out these issues through my music – it’s a catalyst for healing that goes beyond entertainment,” the singer says.
The issue of mental health is a pertinent one in the Philippines. Coeli says: “The resilience of Filipinos is often romanticised – there’s a hint of toxic positivity in our culture. Emotions are invalidated, traumas unprocessed. Instead of validating unpleasant emotions, you hear remarks like, ‘You’re being too dramatic’, ‘Suck it up’, or ‘You lack prayer in your life’.
“People who are struggling with mental well-being won’t dare seek help. They’re pushed to keep things to themselves.”
Yet there are signs that change, albeit slow, is under way – and it’s thanks to outspoken advocates for mental health like Coeli. On her Instagram page, she’s refreshingly frank about her struggles with panic attacks and her current mental state; often, she writes with an intimacy you’d find among close friends discussing their struggles.
“My mood hasn’t been that stable with all these thoughts lingering inside my head,” Coeli wrote in a recent social media post in which she talks about the societal uncertainty brought about by the coronavirus pandemic. “As much as it’s difficult, I take the time to be still and listen to what’s really going on within me … Be kind to yourself today.”
That’s just one of many posts in which Coeli shares her feelings, diary-style, with her followers. In return, many of them are grateful for her sincerity – the comments sections on her posts are almost always a beacon of positivity and warmth.
“I’m vulnerable when I write my music, and it’s similar to social media,” says Coeli. “I see it as a platform to spark change, to normalise conversations about anxiety, and looking after our mental well-being.”
She uses more than just her music to create welcoming spaces; although she doesn’t mind performing in larger venues like bars and concert halls, Coeli vastly prefers smaller, intimate shows where she can connect individually with each audience member.
I’m vulnerable when I write my music, and it’s similar to social media. I see it as a platform to spark change, to normalise conversations about anxiety, and looking after our mental well-being
She also makes it a point to physically create “a place where the audience can feel safe to be vulnerable”, which in some cases means sitting them cross-legged on plush cushions and gathered around her, campfire style.
“Some people tell me that my music is able to voice feelings they can’t express themselves,” she says, adding that some have even credited her for allowing them to open up and seek professional help. “I find joy in being part of someone’s healing process,” she says.
At the moment – like many others struggling to cope with life during the pandemic – Coeli says she’s taking it easy.
She’s tending to her YouTube channel, creating more video content for her Open Garden Sessions series – informal live takes of some of her songs performed in her front yard.
“I’ve also been practising cello and guitar,” she says. “I also have days when I feel really down and anxious … Creating music keeps me sane. But no pressure. I’m doing what I can to enjoy the process.”
