How to create happy memories and not forget them: tips to become a ‘memory architect’
- Happiness expert Meik Wiking says events that combine multiple sensory stimuli create detailed memories that have a strong impact when recalled
- One of his biggest pieces of advice on memory-making is to pay attention – which often means staying away from digital devices
Meik Wiking has built an international reputation as an expert on happiness. In troubling times such as these, he says it is natural to look back and find comfort in remembering happier moments.
With economies in tatters and many people still subject to social distancing measures to stop the coronavirus’ spread, Wiking wants to boost people’s mental health by helping them create new memories that are positive, lasting and inspiring.
“There are things we can do to influence what we, our friends and our families remember in the future,” he says.
From Denmark, Wiking is the CEO of The Happiness Research Institute in Copenhagen and author of The New York Times bestsellers The Little Book of Hygge (pronounced hoo-ga, a Danish word meaning a sense of comfort, togetherness and well-being), and The Little Book of Lykke (pronounced luu-kah, meaning happiness).
Understanding happiness is Wiking’s lifelong goal. A sought-after speaker, he travels the world to discuss things people can do in their day-to-day life to make them happier.
People with depression not only feel unhappy now, but have difficulty remembering happier times, Wiking says. Happy memories can offset negative feelings of stress and loneliness, and all our senses can be memory triggers.
In his most recent book, The Art of Making Memories, Wiking offers techniques to strengthen individual memories and advice on how to plan more memorable events and experiences.
For the book, Wiking sought to understand how we can actively store memories that will trigger positive associations – a process he calls becoming a “memory architect”.
“We all have different tools and strategies we can use to influence what we and our loved ones remember in the future. One strategy is to use the power of firsts. We are more likely to remember first-time experiences.” Couples often remember first dates or first kisses; parents often remember babies’ first words or first steps, he explains.
Wiking also suggests creating events that combine multiple sensory stimuli to compose a memory that is detailed and has an impact.
For example, you could organise a potluck dinner and invite everyone to bring a new, unique dish or to include a special ingredient not familiar to the group. This invokes the senses of smell and taste, powerful tools in memory recollection. Then he advises taking it a step further.
“You could name your event ‘The Apollo Picnic’,” he says, and host it on the July 20 anniversary of the first-ever moon landing in 1969. By adding this historical context to your event, whenever you recall the moon landing or hear about space travel, it can trigger the memory of your picnic.
By tying sensory elements together – smell, taste, touch, sight or sound – memories will be more enduring, recalled with more clarity and more powerfully emotive, Wiking says.
Curate the ‘happy 100’; once a year pick the top photos that are linked to happiness and make a commemoration of them
“Your memory works through association – you might hear a song you heard a lot in high school and then you are instantly travelling back in time, remembering an experience from those days,” Wiking says.
Adding music to special events or debuting a favourite new song during an afternoon at the beach will ensure that the next time you hear it, your memory of that moment will resurface.
“Your memory is like a muscle – you’ve got to exercise it. If you think often of happy memories, you are more likely to be able to remember them in the future.”
Memorabilia like photo albums, scrapbooks or other tangible collections of the past that you can revisit, particularly around the home, are ways to strengthen your memory while also arousing positive emotions.
Wiking warns, though, that keeping memories stashed only online will not produce the same results.
“If we only place our memories on digital devices we risk digital amnesia. We are more likely to lose our digital photos or become overburdened by the vast amount we have stored.”
A physical photo album is better. “Curate the ‘happy 100’; once a year pick the top photos that are linked to happiness and make a commemoration of them.”
Wiking also promotes planning to ensure that when a special day arrives, you can actively participate and capture the moment.
“For the book, I collected more than 1,000 happy memories from people around the world – and interestingly a lot of them were about moments in which people had been without their digital devices, including a family who was experiencing a power blackout. They brought out candles and shared their favourite family stories verbally instead.”
In Wiking’s view, the best advice on memory-making is also the simplest: pay attention. The more present we are in our daily lives, the more we can make conscious change and decisions.
Maximising happiness will always be a goal for most humans. With brighter days on the horizon, planning a memorable event with Wiking’s advice in mind might just be what the doctor ordered.
