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Both BTS and Blackpink have achieved incredible success internationally already, and for good reason. The groups’ catalogues of hits speak for themselves. You don’t even need to be a K-pop fan to know the iconic beat of BP’s Kill This Love or hum along to BTS’s Boy with Luv. Both bands have proved they’re capable of great stuff.

So when BTS dropped Dynamite, their first song fully recorded in English, last month, and promoted it with a prime performance slot at the iconic MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs), we all had high hopes, right? It’s always great to see international stars going the extra mile from their local markets to target America. Until now, the boys had peaked at No 4 with On in March, so their first English-only single was bound to do well. Even if it’s, well, not that good.

Here’s the real tea: with lyrics reaching the depths of “Dyn-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na, life is dynamite,” to a generic beat straight from a stock library, new single Dynamite is what you’d expect from a Will Ferrell pop music parody film. It’s so deeply predictable, it’s almost funny.

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The music bosses have taken every stereotypical trick in the book and compiled it into what they hoped would be a good English pop song. The result is a heavily manufactured track that lacks the BTS X-factor.

Is that what they think the English market really wants? From what we’ve seen of BTS, they have a lot more to offer the Western music scene than a summer anthem reject that’s so cheesy, not even One Direction circa 2010 would touch it (I think you get my point).

The same can be said for Blackpink’s much-hyped collaboration with Selena Gomez, Ice Cream. Having shamed BTS’ Dynamite lyrics, I can’t not mention Blackpink’s “Ice cream chillin’, chillin’, ice cream chillin’.”

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So you’d think with all that hype, accompanied by one of the most popular singers in Western music, they’d bring it, right? Wrong. Instead of another classic Blackpink jam, they’ve delivered a song so forgettable, I’m pretty sure Selena Gomez has already forgotten she did this.

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Put it this way: if BTS’s Dynamite and a stock jingle had a baby – it would be Blackpink and Selena Gomez’s Ice Cream. It’s that generic.

Ice Cream feels like one of those pop powerhouse collaborations that come together because both acts’ record execs deem it a good business move, with below-par results that quickly melt into obscurity, only to be rediscovered during a absent-minded midnight YouTube trawl 20 years later. Remember that Britney Spears and Iggy Azalea collaboration in 2014? Exactly (spoiler alert: you’re going to have a LOL when you rediscover Pretty Girls in 2034).

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That said, both bands could release acoustic versions of Baa, Baa, Black Sheep, and mesmerised fans would lap it up. So, not surprisingly, following an aggressive marketing campaign, BTS finally got their Billboard 100 number one single with Dynamite this week.

But that still doesn’t make it a good song. Billboard‘s K-pop columnist Jeff Benjamin explained how BTS relied on additional formats of the single and different versions of remixes to increase streams and sales.

“Releasing additional formats of the single – including versions on vinyl and cassette tape – was a strong and smart play to fans who like to own physical products,” said Benjamin. “On top of that, releasing different versions of remixes – ranging from acoustic to EDM – helped grow download sales and streaming by giving listeners more options.”

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And it doesn’t seem the Blackpink girls will be too concerned about what the K-pop bosses want them to churn out, because the Ice Cream music video featuring Selena Gomez surpassed 100 million YouTube views 40 hours after its release.

It’s all well and good getting your millions of K-pop fans to click, support and stream, but if the likes of BTS and Blackpink want long-lasting chart success in the West with songs we will remember in 20 years’ time, they’re probably better off ditching the gimmicks and sticking to their signature sounds and styles. After all, that’s what we loved about them in the first place.

Pop music is certainly diverse, sometimes even silly, and I’m not suggesting the BTS boys or Blackpink girls belt out Adele-penned lyrics any time soon, but it would be nice if our beloved K-pop bands brought something fresh to the party. And preferably something with a bit of flavour from Korea.

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