The worst people to meet on the trails, from litter bugs to groups loudly playing Bluetooth speakers
- We each love to enjoy the city’s trails in our own way, but some hikers and runners thrust their enjoyment upon others with Bluetooth speakers
- All trail users have seen and cursed them, and probably do not want to admit that they have been them as well
The trails are packed with people unable to travel abroad. It is great to see more people experiencing the wonders of nature, and the benefits of exercising outdoors. Long may it continue. Before the crowds grew, there was always a subsection of trail users who were, and are, a nuisance. With the trails busier than ever, these annoying users have increased tenfold. We have all seen them, we have all moaned about them, and while we are loath to admit it, we have all probably been them.
6. The herd
Shared experiences are great. Go out to the trails with your friends and experience the great outdoors together. But the bigger your group gets, the more aware of your unwieldy size you need to be. How frustrating is it when a group of 10 are walking parallel across a path like they are sweeping for mines. “Excuse me! Excuse me!” you shout, but no amount of asking politely seems to attract their attention, such is the interest of their group’s conversation.
Hiking barely counts if it isn’t on Instagram – you find yourself questioning whether you want to be “that guy” who runs in front of their photo, or if you can be bothered to wait as the herd takes 62 photos, trying to time their jump in unison with the photo.
10:02
Hiking Hong Kong’s MacLehose Trail
5. The feeder
Part of the joy of hiking is seeing wild animals in their natural habitat. But it is cringe-inducing when you see someone feeding animals, so the wildlife poses for their Instagram photos. The monkeys in Hong Kong are intimidating enough without being emboldened by groups of hikers leaving piles of oranges on the trail to entice them for a photo.
It’s bad for the animals, it’s bad for other hikers and it’s dangerous next time an unsuspecting hiker having their lunch is spotted by a hungry monkey. The same goes for boars or any animal, anywhere in the world. Enjoy the view at a respectful distance. You will just have to forego your six social media likes for the greater good.
4. The pooper, not the scooper
Dogs love trails as much as we do. But no one loves dog poo left on the trail. If you own a dog, it comes with the responsibility of clearing up after it. There is a bizarre habit in Hong Kong, which I’ve never seen anywhere else in the world, to put a leaf (or sometimes even a tissue) over a dog poo as though putting it out of sight, puts it out of mind. This is even worse – you have now laid a stinky trap, like some kind of canine prankster, ready for the next hapless walker to step in. Shame on you!
3. The litter bug
With more trail users, comes more rubbish. When you see the trash at the side of the trail, it’s hard not to wonder “who is doing this? Why are they coming out here just to trash their own Country Park”. You want to give them the benefit of the doubt, that they dropped it by mistake. But the rubbish is piling up in such specific places, its clear some people think this is a designated or acceptable place to lob a bottle. And if a bin looks full, it is full. There is no merit in stuffing your rubbish in an overflowing bin or leaving it next to the bin. Carry it out.
You tell yourself that if you ever actually saw someone throwing rubbish, you’d say a witty passive aggressive line as you give them back their own empty bottle: “sorry, I think you left this behind by mistake”.
But we are rarely heroes outside our own fantasy. At best, you pick up their rubbish and quietly put it in your bag. Hours later, you think of the perfect quip. If only you had thought sooner – Oh if you could turn back time! The look on the litter bug’s face would have been priceless! Humiliation, forced introspection, a changing of a lifetime of careless habits, but alas it is too late.
2. The disco-tech
This is the herd, but worse. No one wants to hear your music. There are few things more selfish than blaring a Bluetooth speaker so you and your friends can listen on the trails. If you find yourself walking at the same speed as a disco-tech herd, it can be infuriating. Who are they to assume everyone else wants to hear Taylor Swift echoing across the trails? Sure, we all love TayTay, but for the love of god not on the trails! Us civilised trail users can never imagine a train of thought that would lead to imposing our music on everyone else.
1. The lone bluetoother
There is one thing worse than the disco-tech herd. And that is the lone hiker with a Bluetooth speaker. At least the herd has the (terrible) excuse of wanting to listen to music and talk to each other. The lone music player can use headphones. There is no need whatsoever for them to play their music publicly via a speaker.
I am in no position to tell people how to use the trails. If they want to listen to music, that is their prerogative. I often enjoy listening to tunes too. But by playing it via speakers, they have decided how we should enjoy the trails too, without a second thought.
Perhaps we should collectivise, and all agree in advance to a retort like “OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG” and hope they pick up on the sarcasm. If the lone bluetoother is met by the same phrase over and over, they’ll be shamed into quitting their cursed habit, right? There is no other scenario in which I’d actively promote shaming, but a lone bluetoother warrants all the tricks in all the books.
Maybe we should lobby the government, and make it a legal requirement to include graphic pictures with the sale of Bluetooth speakers, like on cigarette packets: “WARNING: Playing this on a trail may result in tuts, eye-rolling and sideways looks from other hikers”.
I look forward to seeing newcomers on the trails; I look forward to hearing none of them.
